So ready to head out to the pool, but dammit I will write everyday!
So I began to question myself about becoming a writer- let me stop myself right there, I AM a writer. A paycheck does not define what you are- okay, so I was questioning my desire. Where was it coming from? Just because I wrote tons in middle school and got praise for it, from peers and teachers, did that mean I loved it? Is this really what I want?
What really forced me to ask myself these questions was going back to school for my masters. Lots of money=is this really what I want to do? I started asking myself, "If you love this so much, why don't you have stories done? Why haven't you been writing everyday? Why isn't going back to school an automatic, if this is...my destiny?" Just kidding :-)
Well I'm still not entirely sure of the answer to all those questions, but my mother, who I consider to be very wisdomess (if Beyonce can add bootylicious, I can add wisdomess), gave me a book. I read the first passage and I felt it was written for me:
"One of the most important tasks in artistic recovery is learning to call things-and ourselves-by the right names. Most of us have spent years using the wrong names for our behaviors. We have wanted to create and we have been unable to create and we have called that inability laziness. That is not merely inaccurate. It is cruel. Accuracy and compassion serve us far better. Blocked artists are not lazy. They are blocked. Do not call the inability to start laziness. Call it fear. "
-Julia Cameron
Mother and Julia, THANK YOU! I know I have a streak of laziness and procrastination, which I'm sure both sides of my family will attest I come by honestly :-), but I also have fear. Who will read what I write? What if they hate it? What if they use cruel words to express their distaste of something I've poured my heart and soul into? Well you know what? SCREW 'EM!
No, just kidding :-) I'm still scared, but I have to get over it. Because I do love writing. Right now I am enjoying myself immensely typing something of no consequence. Can you imagine when I begin on the ideas brewing in my brain? Can you imagine when I complete my first work?
I still have doubts that I'll get there, but now I have NO doubt that I want to get there :-)
*I would also like to thank my Aunt Agnes, who reminded me that this is a discipline that deserves my time and effort, although others may not understand that because it isn't a 9-5 job. She inspires me through her own beautiful art and her encouragement to artists who have doubts and fears :-) Thank you Aunt Agnes*
While I agree with the idea of writers writing everyday, the actual "writing" itself can involve a variety of things. While I may not do any longhand writing on a daily basis, what I do do is"collect" everyday. I recommend that you do the same. Collect words, images, ideas, phrases, pieces of dialogue that you might overhear, etc. Always carry a small journal with you also. You never know what these little pieces of something (or nothing) can transform into. In my case, I've been lucky enough to use most of what I collect. Whether it's good or not, is another story in itself.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, I have this great professor of mine names Papatya Bucak who has a blog called "Reading for Writers." It's at readingforwriters.blogspot.com. Check it out. She always has something interesting to say about how writers should approach reading literature, and then applying what they learn to their own writing.
ReplyDeleteThanks!!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm enjoying her writing
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