"This just in, not everyone you meet will like you. Kelly, people across the nation are shocked and outraged. Can you give us some opinions on the scene?"
"Yes Bob, we're here in front of the Supreme Court where they have just ruled in a controversial 5-4 decision that it is OKAY for people not to like each other. I have with me here Gretta, a dog walker from Tennessee, who is simply appalled. "
Gretta, in her southern drawl: I am in complete shock Kelly. Why wouldn't anyone like me? I mean, sure, I protest outside abortion clinics and if you don't believe what I believe I think you're goin' to hell, but should you really judge me? I mean, I don't judge other people. Facts are just facts."
"I'll leave you all to contemplate the irony there. Back to you Bob."
Poor Gretta. Poor us. The media has really awoken our vicious side. How many adjectives did you just come up with to describe Gretta? So quick to assume the worst of people. So hungry for it, too. When you flip on the television and turn to E! are you waiting to hear if Britney has flipped out again? Do you get excited when a celebrity has used a racial or religious slur and you can talk about them at work the next day?
I think we're all guilty, in some way or another, of the voyeur's pleasure. Watching and waiting for something... Just waiting for some idiot like Gretta to open her big mouth so we can pounce on her and explain to her why she's a moron and set her straight.
I have made a decision, that I know I will struggle to stick to, but darn it I'll try, that I'm going to try and assume the best of people; like Gretta. Gretta believes life begins at conception. Gretta believes that abortion is murder and that she will fight for that child's right to live if no one else will. Gretta loves you and doesn't want you to go to hell, so she will shove her beliefs in your face every damn day in the hopes she can save your soul. She believes it's why she's here. It's her purpose.
Now I might not agree with Gretta's tactics, but I have to look at her deeper reasons. I know she's a working mom, who loves her kids and her husband and volunteers on Sundays at her local homeless shelter after she's attended service at church. I might think she's crazy as a bat, but she's only doing what she thinks is right. (Now if Gretta bombs the abortion clinic, or protests at a gay person's funeral, we've got a whole set of different circumstances on our hands. There will always be extremists, and we can't judge the whole group by the extreme few. Well, you can, but I won't.)
I would want Gretta to look at me and assume the best of me. That, even though I'm a heathen who believes in gay marriage, and although I don't believe in abortion myself, would never take away a woman's right to choose, I'm a good person. And as she put her hand on my shoulder and looked into my eyes to try and rescue my soul and I kindly declined her offer, she knows she tried her best and I know she really loves me. I shake my head a little as I walk away, knowing as obnoxious as I think it is, she really does care about me. She shakes her head behind me; she's worried about me and she won't give up.
Wow, am I in a fantasy world or what??? If we could all agree to disagree and respect each other's views and opinions. Imagine that. Imagine all the people...
And it's okay if Gretta and I don't agree and don't really like one another. I don't shout at her that she's a crazy, homophobic, bible thumper and she doesn't shout at me that I'm a heathenistic lost cause. (Yes, I know heathenistic isn't a word :-))
I guess when someone uses unkind words that hurt me, I don't just want to assume they're a jerk and walk away. Maybe they're very passionate about something and given the chance they would change the way they said it. It will make me feel better at the very least. And I think that's what I'm trying to protect; me. My self esteem.
I'm not good at handling criticism when given in a nonconstructive way. But if you write and put things out there it will happen. I guess I would always want people to take into account that I'm human. I have feelings. I have a husband that I love more than anything. I have a cat named Reeses that will scratch the sh** out of you if you're not careful. I have a house that has lost so much of it's value, I feel stuck for all eternity. I'm just like everyone else.
So please assume the best of me instead of the worse. And I promise I will always try to do the same for you :-)
And for those of you out there, who are so strong that words do not affect you, no matter how brutal, I don't know whether to envy you, or pity you. But I will say that just because you are that strong, don't forget that not all of us are.
*Thank you to my father. Who inspires me to think, to reach for the stars, and challenges my opinions every time we talk :-) And I love him for that.*
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